When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.

This about sums it up: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." - Cheers


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Friday, May 09, 2008
Reality Check

Shucks! Missed my Blogdrive. Iíve been too busy at work that when I get home I donít have enough time or energy to go online. And not to say my PC is so virus ridden that I donít like opening it and dealing with all the pop-ups. I need to have this reformatted. Or, I need a laptop.

Anyhoo, my other site is a little bit more updated than this one. Check it out here: www.Chabacz.travellerspoint.com. The only downside is you have to join to post comments. But itís all good. Itís a nice site. Iíve already noticed peeps logging in. All youíll see from my site is my addiction to American Idol. As always. And a slew of other reality TV shows. Thatís me.

Life these days have been so busy itís a miracle I donít forget to breath. Been promoted and have been on the go since. So many things happening all at once work wise. Why canít my personal life be as busy as this? Haha! I better be careful or I might get more than I can handle. I think I can only live on one aspect of my life at a time. Iím still trying to acclimate in my new position. It sometimes feel like an endless stream of updates, fighting fires and band aid solutions. Even if I wanted to think long term, I donít have the time to sit down and gather my thoughts together to form a cohesive idea. Iím so racked up with deadlines that for the first time in my life Iím not able to meet some of them. Good thing our email server crashed and burned. Now I have a quasi excuse. The world stopped.

On that note, it was totally hilarious the other night. I was trying to get info on some stuff from some sups (Iím not gonna share that much Ďcoz of the confidentiality thingy. Sorry.) and Ďcoz Outlook was down, they started handing me sticky notes. Gawd. We are back in the Stone Age. Hahaha! I never really realized how dependent everyone is on technology. If it wasnít so funny, it would be totally scary. What if the World Wide Web started to collapse? Itís gonna be like the second coming. Thereíll be panic in the streets. I still remember the millennium bug scare. What if it actually happens? Scary. Iíd lose my buddy list, my friendster account, my yahoo mail! Gasp! Backup! Backup! Good thing I archived all of my emails before the server died. I have about 6 gigs worth. From way back 2002! Iíd probíly slit my throat if I canít pull out any info. Drastic measure I know. But I really feel like that sometimes.

Thatís it for now. Just wanted to post here. Iíve been trying to catch up on reading other peepsí blogs. I need to be updated on my friendsí lives. I miss everyone. Good thing The Queen Olivia is home so Iíll catch up with them during dinner tomorrow. Now I have to get ready for work. Ciao!  

Posted at Friday, May 09, 2008 by chabacz

Monday, January 07, 2008
Leaving '07 Behind

2008 started out good. No major crisis and no major upheavals. Highlight of the New Year is I finally got my PC fixed and now have very fast internet connection at home. I'm really getting tired of always seeing surf control at work so I got the bayan wireless phone and the pace is pretty fast. I'm thinking of getting smart bro though so I can connect anywhere. It looks cool. Downside of this is I'm gonna get hooked with surfing and blogging again. (If I get enough airtime with my nephew's butt always planted in front of the PC, I'm almost afraid he's growing roots already.) I should really buy myself a lap top. Soon.

Went to a rockin' party last Saturday with some friends. The funny thing was I really wasn't feeling up to going anywhere. (Big Brother's final night and all. Hahaha!)  But I went for fear of being annihilated by Stewie. It's a double celebration and all the peeps were old friends, so I went. I had a fab time. Too much booze though. (Washed it down with Ruffo's steak the morning after. Great.)I'm pretty much getting to the conclusion that all my guy friends are gay. What is up with that? Even guys I fall for are gay. (Not that I know it at the time) HmmmmÖ. The cosmos are trying to tell me something. Or I'm just really an anomaly and should have been born with a d*ck instead of t*ts. Oh well, don't really wanna dwell on it too much. I'll just enjoy myself, t*ts and all.

An ex texted me today. Apparently another ex (they're cousins' btw.) is trying to get in touch with me. I told ex1 not to give my number. Don't wanna start the New Year borrowing trouble. Ex2 is married and tends to stray once in a while. As I grow older I realize guys I know are either married or gay. Haha! The one's in between are either too old or too young. I'm trying to do a paradigm shift with my lovelife, or I'll not have any.  When I come up with a resolution I'll let you know.

Well, that's it so far for the first week of 2008. Hope everyone had a very nice new year and all your fingers are still intact. Another year to enjoy life and try on new adventures, find new friends, keep old ones and generally live our lives the best way we can. Enjoy!

Posted at Monday, January 07, 2008 by chabacz

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Mowdel: Me
Venue: Villa Mapue
Photographer: Heir Apparent Noel Mapue II

Posted at Saturday, December 29, 2007 by chabacz

Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Turning 3-0

Hah! I turned 30 without a hitch. Well, maybe a small one.. I couldn't quit smoking. Ok, ok, I don't want to quit smoking. Oh well... I think that's a losing battle anyway. Might as well learn to live with myself.

Anyhoo, I started another blog. I got pissed off with surf control so I started hunting around for a new host. But still, nothing beats blogdrive. (sep anxiety!)  But I've already started the other one so I'll just go with it. I'd still post here. But since I.T. is still diligent and even my proxy is now shot to hell, I'll meet yah all here: chabacz.travellerspoint.com. It's a nice site also for those wanting to read about travel.

Went on hibernation from Nov. 1 till Nov. 11. In the middle of my vacation, went to the province, sunned myself on the beach and slept under the palm trees. All we did was bummed around. Walked along the shore, drank, created a roaring bonfire with a lot of coconut husks, and we all feel asleep on the sand. It was pure bliss. No worries about anybody messing up my vacation. It was liberating. No parties, no music except for the melody of the guitar one of the guys brought. No blinking lights since there's no electricity where we were. No tourists messing up our shoreline. And no expectations whatsoever. It was pure relaxation. I think this vacation has been a long time coming after all the shit that happened this year.

I got back to work last Monday. I felt rested. For once I can ignore the pesky little things. And good news awaited me anyways. So, I'm just counting the days 'till I feel like its vacation again. (For my senses anyways)

So, that's it. I dunno if you'll have to be a member to leave comments on my other blog. But come and say hi anyways. Thanks for everyone who remembered me on my big 3-0! I couldn't be happier! 'See yah!

Posted at Wednesday, November 14, 2007 by chabacz

Monday, October 08, 2007
Pretend Work

We had an amateur pictorial in the office to honor the service awardees and here are some of the behind-the-scenes. It was fun. We're still trying to pick a title for the last one. It looks like one of those telenovela tarps you see along EDSA.

Aubs' looking like Dos more and more everday. hehehe. Although I miss her curls. Via has a title but i'll refrain from putting it out in public since it's a little too... naughty.



Later! Shades

Posted at Monday, October 08, 2007 by chabacz

Jiwa, Mraz and Yamin... Yum!

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now Iím missing you and Iím wishing you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know; so now Iím all alone


I don't care what you might think about me
you'll get by without me if you want
Well,I could be the one to take you home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't forgetin' what you already know
That I could be the one to turn you on
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away
like the geek in the pink

Posted at Monday, October 08, 2007 by chabacz

Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Better than hmmm....

So, here I am again. Twice in a month. I know I've swallowed my words in my previous entry. I did say I'm gonna abuse the internet huh? But if you live with two teenagers, it's vacation season, and they're both addicted to online gaming, then you know what I'm going through. Good thing they're at the mall trying to alleviate the heat. I can snatch a couple of hours to check my long forgotten friendster account. And of course cruise by here a little.

A long lost friend of mine from way way back finally connected with me through (of course, where else) friendster. I just lurvs this technology. I haven't seen her for about 5 years now (Or is it 6? hmmm... better make it 5, my age is showing) and when I opened my messages there she was. She said she's been happily married for the past 4 years and that I seem happy with all the pictures she saw in my album. And she asked if the cutie with me was THE ONE. Of course all my friends are cute (ahem, ahem) but nobody stands out more than my Stewie.

Now, this guy is "MY PERFECT MATE" personified. He is my ideal aesthetically. Tall. The kind of tall where I don't have to dangle around his neck, get a crink on my shoulder, and hurt my toes from stretching when we kiss. Dark. The kind that enhances the machismo factor. Handsome. The kind of handsome that can be photographed from every angle. Not to outdo his brains, he is a writer, a dreamer, a connoisseur of good taste and his subject matters range from what's hot to what's not in almost every topic. He makes me laugh and he makes me cry. And the bestest part of it all.... HE's GAY! 

I really dunno where my love for the magnificently gay started. I don't remember having any gay friends while I was growing up. I do know some lesbians thru my sisters, who was into all that "free love" shit in the 70's, but I don't remember them having gay friends. Now, I can't get enough of them. I love going out to coffee, to drinks, to movies, to parties, to vacations, to eat... name the event and the place and I'd probably be touting a gay friend along. They are so easy to love. (And not to mention they will never let you out of the house looking like Elvira gone wild.) 

Another friend of mine who has made a habit of psycho analyzing his friends said that for a commitment phobic like me, gays are the best answer. I can get all the lovin' I need without the hassle of demands and ultimatums. Or of actually investing in a serious relationship. Is that true Stewie? Isn't our relationship serious? Hehe...

Well, in the name of being truthful, I did make a mistake of falling for a gay guy once. But, in my own defense, I didn't know he was gay, and I think neither did he, or he hasn't really come to terms with it at that time. I remember the day I found out he was in love with a then new friend of mine who was, of course, obviously gay, it really hurt. I remember a sense of betrayal. It was like he was cheating me the whole  time. I know he didn't mean it to happen that way. Especially since he was just a newbie with his feelings at that time. Up until now I don't know if I would've felt the same if it was another girl he actually hooked up with. I guess I'll never find out. (Thank Gowd!)

For now, I do know what my answer would be to my friend's question. I'd tell her that yes, he is THE ONE. The one who has helped me through tough times, held my hands through the worst storms in my life. Tolerated my drama. Gave me the best times. And loved me unconditionally. 

Yes Stewie, at the end of the day, you're still better than sex. So, allow me to say, my deepest thanks, my favorite friend!

Posted at Tuesday, May 29, 2007 by chabacz

Tuesday, May 15, 2007
First for the Year

Finally!!! Got to blog again after half a year. I'm not even gonna make excuses. Okay... here's one: I've been having an affair with my journal and jealousies might ensue if I write in here. Hahahaha!!!

Been pretty busy the last few months. Lots of changes. I am now going corporate, or as to what the fashionistas would like to call "business chic". Yup, they finally reigned in our impulses and introduced a "Dress Code". Oh well, I was ready for the change. Not to say that I didn't kick and scream for the fist couple of weeks before I finally gave in. But being me means I still wear my cut off jeans. But now I pair it with a nice blousy-girly thingy and substituted my flip-flops for lady-like sandals. I miss my PFLAG inspired-beach walk-platformed designed flip-flops. *Sigh*

Now, the change that I hate the most with the introduction of "dressing a step higher than the trainees" (That's the exact wording in the handbook mind you) is that I've noticed that whenever I handle a class now my trainees tend to call me "Miss". I feel like an exclusive all-girl high school teacher.

Another change is that they've finally promoted me. Yeah, truly. I went through a lot of shit and drama before it happened but it still happened early this year. Not that I'm doing anything different since we're ramping and I'm still handling new hire classes month after month after month. I'm just letting it ride and see what happens when I hit the 5th year. I'm sure I'll get the itch to shop around again.

So, election day have come and gone. I was sick so I had to be forever escorted everywhere yesterday and the freakin heat didn't help. I was with a couple of old friends and the conversation about the "who's who" in the electoral run this year made me sad... or angry... or sad. I dunno, my feelings were pretty much running on the hopeless side, but I still voted. Still felt that tug to do something even when I knew that I was just fighting a losing battle and that the choices I made were just for choosing the lesser evil. This is a f*cked up world we live in. But, we humans never lose hope so we go through the semblance of normality even knowing that it might be all for naught. But it's the "might" that keeps the fight in us. So, I hope you voted wisely. An for those of you who didn't... well you will truly deserve your leaders. 'Nuff said.

That's it for now. I know it's lukewarm but I'm sure I'm gonna be blogging again soon. I'm house/nephew-sitting until the end of the month for my sis and I have unlimited internet access. I'll try to maximize it to the point of abuse.


Posted at Tuesday, May 15, 2007 by chabacz

Friday, November 24, 2006
The Wonder Of Ages

On a lighter note.. (If there ever was one in all these angst filled entries) These past couple of months have been quite a revelaiton for me. I've finally found a semblance of the peace I'm craving for (And I had to dump some very detrimental-to-my-health-and-mind people along the way just to get a semblance) and have been moving on to other pursuits. I've been having fun trying to see what my dozen or so nieces and nephews are up to in their respective lives. And I got quite a few surprises there as well. (Nice ones this time)

One of my niece is getting married this December (My brother married really young) to a very nice boy. I met the groom briefly and he strikes me as the kind of person you can depend on in a crisis. Very hands-on and sensible. I'm really happy for them. Seems that niece does not need need tips on how to collect and collect and never select... eerrr... I mean to select. Great for her.

On the other hand one of my nephew is currently living in with his girlfriend. I won't really delve into it that much because turns out the girl has a celeb for a mom so any bad publicity would be a no-no. But they are also into Cos Plays, Animes and they actually have a band that plays all those Japanese anime songs. (Had to endure a whole Saturday of fun, uhgg, just to watch them in an activity in Eastwood last weekend. By the time it was 9pm I was actually used to the ear-splitting sound of unintelligable mutter around me. It was like being in a time space warp, or maybe I'm just getting old. MANTRA TO SELF: You went through a Guns and Roses and Bon Jovi phase too..not to mention being a groupie for E-heads... patience would be a good virtue to apply right now.) It was interesting. 'Nuff said.

Another nephew is currently in grade school and has made tormenting his teachers his past time. He actually makes them go home to momma and cry. (To HIS momma mind you. Telling my sis all my nephew's mishaps hoping we can try and do something about it. You wish.) It's just so funny because in the end we found out that the reason his attention is not on his studies but on how to make the teacher cry was because he was bored. We had him tested and now he's in an accelerated class taking Math lessons that even I can't comprehend. Good luck Khalil! Ring me when you've invented something and become a millionare ayt? Auntie loves you. Hehehehehe...

One niece just started Veterinary Medicine in UPLB and seems she's having the time of her life. My dog just gave birth to 5 pups and 2 of them had defects on their hind legs. So, 'coz I'm a cheap shit, I consult with her on what to do. I told her over he phone that the pusp we're like Flipper and drags their back-legs like a dolphin. She explicitely told me to make them swim. I thought it was for therapy. Nah, I'm not that lucky though, it was becasue she wanted to know if they would really swim like Flipper. Didn't talk to her for about a week after that. (Well... I'm very sensitive when it comes to my dogs) But it's all good, I finally shelled out the funds and brought them to a REAL vet and was told to give them massages 3 times a day for 15 minutes each session. They're good now.

So, time flies... I never thought about having adult conversation with my siblings' spawns this soon. (Birth control, God and alcohol just to name a few topics.) But it's really been nice. Enlightening too. I'm not really seeing a bit difference between their generation and mine. Only the technology. But what they're thinking and doing? It's basically the same thing I was thinking and doing at their age.

That's life doing a full circle. Damn amazing.

Posted at Friday, November 24, 2006 by chabacz

Week Filled With Wonder

Hah! Saw this in one of my previous entries way back 2004:

"One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. "

It's an apt passage for what I'm feeling right now. Our team just went through crap this week. Too many suprises thrown together at the same time. And the thing that I really hate is the feeling of helplessness. I really can't do anything about this one. My hands are tied. I feel like I'm talking to one of our clients trying to give them bull just to appease them. Now it's my soul that needs the comfort.  

Esteemed boss just bid us farewell. And all this shit after all the pep talks I had to endure when I wanted to say goodbye. I know I shouldn't be pissed. But I am. He's the reason I'm still here. All I can say is he will truly be missed. He has taught me that when somebody asks you to jump, you don't ask "how high?", instead you ask "Why?" He was the one who taught me to always fight for what I want, let go of the things I can't change and move on from people and situations that bring me down.

So why am I finding it so hard to let go of him?

Posted at Friday, November 24, 2006 by chabacz

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